Fr. Barron on Why Catholics Leave the Church – http://www.wordonfire.org

Love uCATHOLIC?
Get our inspiring content delivered to your inbox every morning - FREE!

27 COMMENTS

  1. As a Catholic School educator, I often find myself defending the Church to many friends who are considering leaving our Church Parish for the reasons you spoke about during the video. The reasons you stated about why people leave the Church are absolutely correct. My question is: Since I have no control over the Homily, etc., how do I convince them to stay? Thanks in advance for your reply.
    God Bless, Allison Boudreaux

    • The minimum standard for every Christian Church is to preach the gospel. Read what Paul VI has to say, On Evangelization in the Modern World (5).
      “Such an exhortation seems to be of capital importance, for the
      presentation of …the gospel is not an optional contribution for the Church. It is the duty incumbent on her by the command of the Lord Jesus, so that people can believe and be saved. This message is indeed necessary. It is unique. It cannot be replaced. It does not permit either indifference, syncretism or accommodation. It is a question of people’s salvation…It is able to stir up by itself faith – faith that rests on the power of God. It is truth.”
      Though the gospel is in our “official” church teachings it rarely, if ever, is heard from the pulpits nor is it being properly presented elsewhere in our church gatherings. Most of my fellow Catholics cannot define it, let alone articulate it, either for themselves or for other people. Giving people religion is not giving them the gospel. Giving them the sacraments is not giving them the gospel. Giving them information on the saints, devotionals, etc., is not giving them the gospel. “Yet it is a question of people’s salvation” – could THAT be why so many are leaving – to find salvation? (“And how can they hear without someone to preach?” Rom.10:14)See More23 minutes ago · LikeUnlike.

  2. All these reasons are great reasons to change to another parish, not leave the Church. I think that many leave because they have no idea what they are giving up or leaving behind. The Church, (judging from the parishes I have been associated with) does a very poor job of educating its flock as to the reasoning and justification behind many of our practices and beliefs. The average Catholic, I think, does not understand the scriptural justification for the Holy Eucharist, the Liturgy of the Mass, etc. and thereby becomes easily convinced that leaving to become part of another, “feel-good”, denomination is no big deal. If only priests would use the homily to educate the “Sunday Catholics” in scripture I think we would see fewer Catholics leaving.

    • I agree with you Ron. When the church phrases and mass where going to be translated differently, many people in my church and immediate family, had such awful things to say. Instead of using the church or before mass to explain the parishioners that this is why and how.

  3. Dear Father Barron,

    I am a cradle Catholic homeschooling mom of 5 little ones trying to pave the way of our Faith in our domestic church. BUT… lately I am spiritually feeling empty by my parish here in South Florida. All of what you have spoken about why Catholics leave is how I currently feel. BUT — when I read the Bible, I read our Catholic curriculum, we do rosary time and a Divine Mercy chaplet, we pray as a family at dinner and when we can for causes, we take our children to mass… but as the ADULTS as the PARENTS, our parish makes us feel lost — lost in spirit. They are anti-Catholic homeschooling because we compete with their own parish education. What angers my husband and me is when we see parishioners with blackberries during mass, their children playing with their ipods and nintendo ds gadgets, some eating snacks and not paying attention to the mass at all. My church has over 4000 family members.
    I also taught CCD this year. I am not volunteering next year because I feel that my students were not getting the full spirit of the curriculum. At 2nd grade level going to do your communion in May, the children still don’t know the basic prayers to live by in our faith. Oh boy, I can go on and on, and not get into a place of content with my church … but is it the same for others? Am I wasting my time by complaining internally?
    As I contemplate to leave my parish and seek a new church for my family, I pray that the parishioners I come in contact with are inviting, and filled with the Holy Spirit, and that their priests who run the church are not as arrogant and are much more amicable, so that my children are able to see the beauty of our faith.

    As I hear my Christian friends who have left the Catholic Faith for a non denominational one, I see a lot more joy and happiness for at least 95% of them, because of the fellowship and ministries that are true to heart. And their pastors speak on a level that most people can relate to in life. They have events that are surrounded with the Holy Spirit and not a price value like the parish festivals we attend yearly that cost my family over 200 dollars in order to have a good family time. The parish feast have beer and wine and ‘garbage’ that I would not allow in my own home, nonetheless in church. =(

    Again, if it wasn’t that I was not practicing my faith daily 24/7, reading the Bible and about the beauty of Saints, truly believing that I am in full communion with Jesus during mass, I think I would have stepped away a long time ago. But when my friends bring the different negative arguments on the table for discussion, it makes it very hard to rebuttal.
    Thank you for adding this today. May God bless you always.

    • Jacqueline, first God Bless you for all that you do for the little ones in your family and for your sincere love for Christ our savior. I pray that all of this ‘turmoil’ serves to strengthen your faith and not weaken it. The very same way Jesus had to endure and suffer at the hands of the Pharisees and the high priests WE must do the same. Often times we find ourselves in our churches living the exact same sinful ways yet Jesus himself taught us not to give up; that is why I ask you to please stay strong and continue to fight the good battle. Do not let the Pharisees and the high priests defeat you. This is what makes you and me different because the Church that Jesus built within YOU in your heart nobody can destroy.

    • Jacqueline,
      Bless you for taking on the challenge of homeschooling your children.
      I have a friend who left the church about 12 years ago for a nondenominational church. Every time I spoke to her she would tell me how great the pastor was, how nice the other members were and how busy they were with church pageants, and other activities.
      Last year she invited me to a service and I went along. I invited her to come with me to hear Jeff Cavins speak at our parish. She came along and after leaving the church she said she didnt realize how much she missed the prayerful, atmosphere of the Catholic church. She said she missed sacraments, especially communion. She has since started attending Mass regularly and said she feels like the prodigal son. I have prayed for her for a year. Pray for your friends, pray for your parish.
      Remember that even Mother Teresa had experienced an emptiness and a frustration that hung on to her very being.
      Satan dosent tempt sinners. I will hope you find a parish that is joyful.

    • Jacqueline, I am so sorry to hear you go through all of this. I am a DRE of a church of about 950-1000 families, though to see enrollment of our CCD, you would think we were much smaller. We do however welcome homeschool families with wide-open arms. But, it was not always like this. We have a homeschool Mass once a month on at a weekday Mass and sometimes it is just a few, sometimes it is a fair amount. One family has taken it upon themselves to really advertise it amongst the homeschool community and it has really helped.
      As far as 2nd graders not knowing their prayers, I COMPLETELY understand your fustration. But you should also know as the catechist, you are at least planting and nurturing the seed. It is up to the parent to continue to grow and nurture that seed, you can only hope they do and give them the tools to do so. Is this the only Catholic Church in your area? Is your parish priest open to discussions? How about the Parish Council Chair? They may very well be unaware.
      Don’t abandon your faith, the other demoninations may seem like they are perfect or have the answers, but I have worked at a couple other protestant churches and I can tell you that it is not all it is cracked up to be and they have PLENTY of problems themselves…plus no Eucharist! God Bless you and I will pray for you and your family.

      • Thank you for ALL of your blessings. We hope that this summer when we take a couple of months to rethink our homeschool plans, we will find a place of peace with our parish and maybe adventure into another. God has many plans, I think if I continue praying and seeking His word, the answer will be under my very busy nose. =)

        On another note mentioned through out the comments: Sadly, I think with respects to evangelizing the Catholic Faith, we must be able to train also the lay people that work at the church, the Deacons and older priests that have retired. If people see the constant kindness the spirit of our forgiving God, our churches would be more filled with active members. I have witnessed shear disrespect for the sacredness of church during mass: for example for one leaving right after receiving communion. It always saddens me, but I also pray for the people leaving since they may not be aware of the implications this act has.

        My main family mission and concern has always been to apply our convictions and beliefs with the Catholic faith. I at least try. It’s hard to work as a CCD teacher on a week by week basis and have restrictions as to how to send that message home for the parents to take seriously.

        My sweet husband has told me many times, it’s easier to be bad than good. It is true. But those that walk the faith and fall, can teach such a beautiful lesson, if they want to seek it and want to mentor and evangelize those that need it. I pray that our faith will continue to grow, grow new priests and nuns in our communities to lead our souls in the right place when we need the counsel.

        May all of you be blessed and touched this Easter by the Holy Spirit and Jesus’ Divine Heart.

  4. Father, thank you so much for this! As you know there are many reasons for this exodus but in addition to finding out Why Catholics leave the Church we should also be concerned about what is the Church doing to attract new Catholics. Here again we fail in many ways except the RCIA. This failure in particular concerns me the most because of its delicate nature. We commit a grave mistake when we impose unnecessary conditions in order for parents to bring their babies to be baptized. In my Parish babies can not openly enter our Catholic faith unless the parents and godparents meet the ‘requirements’. In other words we are telling parents and godparents sorry but we will not baptize the child until you fulfill those requirements and so the baby is denied the entry into our faith. Some parents that may already be weak in their Catholic faith might just give up and walk away with their child; and the question remains why did we denied the baptism to that child?

  5. I agree with a previous poster that said these were reason to look for another parish. I left the Church for 10 years because of comments made to me by a nun. But, I missed the Church so much that the first Saturday after Easter 8 years ago, I went to a different parish to reconcile with God and the Church. Fr. Paul was just so amazing in our talk. Granted I would have walked around like a chicken while saying “Hail Mary’s” if that is what it took to come back to the Church. Fr. Paul explained that the nun gave me bad information and that he was truly sorry that I was gone for so long. He welcomed me home and I burst into tears. I will never leave the Catholic Church again. Fr Paul has since moved on to another parish but what he built at my parish is still going strong. We grow in numbers every year but it is because my Church does what Fr. Barron suggested. The homilies are relevant, the parish is very inclusionary and the parish staff is very helpful. We have a great vibe there. I wish I would have gone to them much sooner. That experience taught me allot and I use it when speaking to Catholics that don’t have a current parish. I always invite them to mine. In fact, we get allot of folks there that are parishioners at other parishes but like ours better. They usually are keeping their membership with the other church because of children being enrolled in school. Long story short, Fr. Barron is right that some good customer service goes along way with keeping the congregation spiritually feed!

  6. I think Fr. Barron (and the survey) did touch on most of the basic reasons people leave. It’s interesting that it seems that what is most important to people isn’t some big major theological idea – but simply that human touch – being recognized, even appreciated. I wonder though what the survey would have said if they talked to teens. A ton of kids leave off going to Mass and stop participating in their parish around the same time that they are getting more independent – moving out on their own, or going away to school – and a lot of them say that they stop going to church because it doesn’t feel “relevant” to their lives. It’s “boring”, or they don’t feel connected. I don’t think parishes should go the other way, and try to turn into a 3-ring circus – but I do think that they need to do more to keep the older teens and 20-somethings involved.

  7. Several points come to mind listening to this commentary and reading the comments made in response to it. It is very frustrating.

    Corporations pander to the vices of people. They are not the teachers to whom priests should turn to learn “customer service.”

    Boredom is a vice. Its old names include “sloth” and “lack of docility.” Boredom is also not a signpost to which priests should turn to find their way.

    The suggestion that the Homily during Holy Mass be used to preach basic catechesis is very worrying. The Liturgy of the Word is inseparable from and part of the Sacrifice of the Mass. It has a specific purpose and that is part of a mature dialogue with God in the prayer of the Mass. It is not a place for primary evangelization or conversion of non-Catholics to the Faith.

    I will end with the general observation that it is not clear from whose side these comments come. Given the tone and the logic of what is said, one wonders why the commentator or those who reply want people to “remain in the Church.” The impression given is that it is a jealous concern for “market share.” Are we concerned to convert the apostates or to just keep someone, anyone, coming to the Mass? This does not sound like one is on the side of Christ. Does Christ want sacrilege and blasphemy during Mass, because it keeps the attendance numbers up?

    The local Churches and parishes do need to evangelize. And some of the comments here are correct, they need to evangelize those who think they are Christians but are not. Sadly, that includes many of the priests and all of those who cannot tell why a Catholic adores God and why a Protestant is in grave danger of hell because he merely worships what he does not understand.

    Those who have good “telephone protocols” which give the impression of cheeriness are destined to hell. Many of those in hell will try to be “nice,” the problem with hell is, after just a little while the shallowness of “niceness” becomes grating and then infuriating, and people spend a long time in hell.

    Imagine eternity with, “We hope you enjoy this custom ring-tone, while you wait for our next fully-trained customer service specialist.”

    • For someone who has gone out of the Church and now back and someone who had to be taught again what I am missing – Christ, I agree with you about evangelizing. However, evangelizing also has a customer relations side of it because you can’t convince people unless you practice what you preach.

      I think what Fr.Baron is pointing out is beyond merely making the homily appealing to the masses or inviting churchgoers to fellowships. He’s talking about the need to show that we’re so convinced about what we believe in. You should not try to be nice on the phone just because you don’t want to others to leave the church, you will be nicer if you truly believe that everyone who gets inside the parish office belongs or is family.

      With regard to homilies, how does one define “boring”? I think every priest, having gone through years of study and regular reflection, have what it takes to preach the Gospel in an engaging manner. Some, however, just make their homilies nice and sweet or too short and simple. Sometimes it takes one truly provocative and interesting preaching from a born-again Christian pastor to convince a parishioner to leave the Catholic Church. Why do we have homilies right after the Gospel anyway? Is a homily just a footnote to the reading? Come to think of it, the Gospel contains the most radical teachings in the history of mankind.

      With regard to the zealous or “jealous concern for market share” – if corporations are pitching their products to feed people’s vices, then that’s a very good reason for us to start thinking about beating the competition. We’re not only losing Catholics to other religions, we’re losing disciples and believers in Christ. Worse, some Catholics may have “left” a long, long time ago but we don’t know it because they still call themselves catholics.

  8. My thoughts on the subject are this: The Mass is what it is, which is the Liturgy of the Word, Followed by the Liturgy of the Eucharist. It should not be changed to appeal to the masses.

    For those who want fellowship, talk to your parish priest about starting a weekly Bible study or faith-sharing meeting in the parish hall. Then invite parishioners to attend. Be willing to take the lead on this though, don’t expect the Priest to do it (or even to attend). He has enough responsibilities already. All he needs to do is support the idea.

    Remember, you can complain all you want, but if you’re not willing to be an active part of the solution, then you may as well consider yourself part of the problem.

  9. Many Catholics today are feeling disillusioned and in a state of “spiritual limbo”. Whatever one’s opinions on this, I think the issues go far deeper than that. Perhaps the “novus ordo” crowd is slowly starting to realize that Vatican II has been an unmitigated disaster? I don’t even recognize the church anymore.

    • I appreciate the recent (last Advent in our Archdiocese) restoration of the mass prayers and responses to match the original Latin translation before the modern English changes. For example, we now respond with “and with your Spirit” instead of the reformed “and also with you” that was instituted when I was younger. It’s a reminder for those participating in the mass to be praying for the priest as he exercises the particular gift of the Holy Spirit imparted upon his during Ordination that enable him to perform the duties to consecrate the host and to celebrate mass.

  10. My husband and I left the Catholic Church for 10 yrs. We just came back 5 yrs. ago. We went to very faith-filled, vibrant Catholic college and so when we got out we had pretty high expectations of what we wanted in a parish and were ready to do ministry, especially youth ministry. We kept running into brick walls as our vision was different from the staff and parents. They just wanted youth ministry to be a social club where as we wanted to bring in a spiritual element and the priests we encountered didn’t have the back bone to stand up to them.We also longed for community and to be around other like-minded people, passionate for their faith. After we left we were able to be ordained in a non-denominational church and start a church of our own. We ended up coming back to the church because we missed the Eucharist and a sense of the sacred. Since we have been back we have gained a deeper appreciation for the Church and have found the type of community we longed for 15 yrs. ago within a small group we attend. There are still some issues with the particular church we attend but am committed to pray and I couldn’t imagine leaving the Catholic Church again.

  11. I go there for Jesus in the Eucharist…I love him,no matter what is going on in the church..I am there for Jesus only…

    • Amen sister Martha. No suffering, no sanctification. We suffer seeing other people being irreverent in church. We suffer when we see a Priest fall from grace. We suffer when we see our children commit a mortal sin. We suffer when we see the faithful leave the true faith. Offer these sufferings in union with the love, sufferings and merits of our Lord Jesus to God the Father for the expiation of our own sins; for the purification of the goods done badly and to supply for the goods ought to have done but neglected.

  12. As a convert from being a Southern Baptist, I see many of those who are cradle catholics with very little interest, Is it poor catechesis? could be…but also, this seems to be the answer every time we hear things like this, especially catholics who do not know certain teachings.

    I agree with many of you that the Church and the laity needs to be more open and direct with those who are falling away or struggling. As St, Francis said, “Live the Gospel…and if necessary use words.” Blessings to you all!

  13. Everyone has a point of view and that aspect is valid to that person. The details Fr. Barron talked about are all true.

    In addition homilists might want to consider employing proper use of our language. Fr. Barron is expert in that area also. There are pastors who are not proficient and are proud of their mangling of the language. That is unfortunate.

    Another issue that must be addressed is that there are some pastoral leaders with substance abuse issues or mental health problems and they freely inflict unjust abuse on their ‘flock’. Some do not accept the possibility that there even could be abusive behavior that is verbal or that it can cause as much damage as other more widely known forms of abuse.

    Lay members of a church community also have been known to drive people away with constant arrogant intolerant behavior.

    When a Bishop decides to leave a pastor who is lacking effective necessary abilities in one community year after year the damage to that parish is magnified. Every year the members anxiously await the announcement of pastoral transfers and theirs is never moved. Is it possible that the Bishop believes he is limiting the damage to a single area rather than making a change to a new location and the same thing happening there? I presume there have been attempts to educate and improve behavior but the changes needed have not occurred. When a person does not recognize the need for change the effort to bring about that improvement is wasted.

    Reporting of incidents has resulted in accusations of immoral lies by the reporter, not recognition of problems of the behavior.

  14. how can a priest educate in a 6-15 min homily, once a week?
    it’s up to us, the laity, to spend more time learning about our faith, so we can better help our brothers and sisters see the truth.

  15. I left the church during the end of high school and college. I went to Catholic grade school, and high school my whole life and we were never given the proper catechism. We had flowery, fluffy workbooks with tons of multicultural children, and the general message was to just love everyone. This went on year, after year, after year, and on into high school. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with loving everyone, but I had no foundation in the dogma of the faith, and as a result I was easy prey for the devil. I became agnostic throughout college and even for a short time after. I continued living in the gutters of mortal sin, until recently when, by the grace of God, I attended a traditional Latin Mass and heard the message of our Lady of Fatima via Father Gruner online. When I heard Father Gruner I knew there were still Catholics out there living the faith and that I had to find them. I stopped attending the novus ordo mass because of the outright twisting of certain doctrines by the priests themselves. For instance, a priest was preaching, love they neighbor as thyself, over the first command, love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul, and mind. Recently, a priest didn’t have time to hear my confession, and he told me to just tell Jesus I was sorry and go to Communion. THE PRIEST WAS GOING TO LEAD ME INTO MORTAL SIN! I am forever grateful to the priests that offer the Latin Mass, teach Catholic dogma, and don’t just tell the congregation what they want to hear so the seats are full. The seats will fill again when the faith and dogma are being followed by local priests. I know this because I have faith in Jesus Christ. I am forever grateful to Pope Benedict for making the Latin form of the mass available to everyone again. If it were not for Our Lady of Fatima, Father Gruner, and the priests associated with Saintly Fraternity of St. Peter I would still be in the chains of mortal sin.

  16. Even I’m a catholic, I choose divorce for safety. I have no parents, family to go, no job, no house but I got help from church reference for a lawyer so that my daughter is still with me. And I got money too, buy a small house (3 1/4X11m2). Even though we lived low for our standard, I still attend mass every weekend with my daughter, never failed. It’s a crowded area where I lived. After years, one by one catholic family return to church again and became faithfull again. I rarely talk and more over about the faith to them, maybe they just saw me always going to mass and feel the longing for the eucharist. Should be it’s God willing me to live there too.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here